I’m not going to lie: our Christmas week is looking a bit, well, thin. From being full at Christmas, the team are now facing the miserable prospect of listening, once again, to my uproariously funny skiing stories as they chomp through a turkey large enough to once have been a door supervisor.

Our erstwhile Christmas guests have all had to cancel for family reasons, which is our and their loss but your opportunity.

Let me paint you a picture of your two possible Christmases, your at-home one and your Ski First Tracks one:

At home

Christmas Eve: OMG trip to Tesco’s for the sprouts you forgot. Queue for an hour at the checkouts. Do whatever is needed to the door supervsior. Prepare 14000 sprouts which nobody will eat. Wrap the last of the presents. Knock tree over. Spend two hours redecorating it. Go to bed.

Christmas day: Get up at 6am to put door supervisor in the oven. Weather warm and wet. Prepare breakfast. Eat breakfast. Open presents. Go for walk in rain. Prepare lunch. Try not to hit partner round the head with saucepan. Eat lunch in tense silence. Watch TV. Fall asleep. Try and eat Christmas cake. Go to bed.

Boxing day: Weather warm and wet. Friends cancel meet up in pub due to food poisoning. Go for a walk. Dry clothes. Make turkey sandwiches. Watch TV. Go to bed.

Boxing Day +1: Weather cold and wet. Back to work.

Ski First Tracks:

Christmas Eve: Wake up. Sun streaming through curtains. Look outside – plenty of snow. Smell of fresh coffee. Warming breakfast served to set you up for the day. Ski. Lunch at Bouc Blanc. Back for afternoon tea. Snooze. Ski Lodge. Revolverlites. Back for three course dinner with wine. Good company and laughs.

Christmas day: Leisurely start. Sun streaming through window. Look outside – plenty of snow. Breakfast with Bucks Fizz. Ski. Lunch at La Loy off Jerusalem. Ski back for afternoon tea. Snooze. Ski Lodge. Back for Christmas dinner with all the trimmings (no prep, no washing up).

Boxing Day: Another leisurely start. Sunny streaming through windows. Look outside – fresh snow. Warming, set-you-up-for-the-day breakfast. Ski to Val Thorens with new friends you met yesterday. Just make it back to La Tania (stories to tell). Quick one at The Montana. Delicious three-course meal with wine (no prep, no washing up).

Boxing Day +1. Last day so first lifts. Sun and snow. Ski most of the Courchevel Valley. Hot dog at La Pause. Straight to the Ski Lodge for a last drink or two (until next year). What? Another delicious three-course meal with wine? (no prep, no washing up).

So there’s your choice, my friends. At home/Ski First Tracks? Ski First Tracks/at home? Hmmmm….🤔.

Difficult one, but if, in the unlikely event you decide that being looked after for Christmas week is preferable to slaving over a hot turkey (with the bonus of being able to ski), then it can be yours for only £975 per person, which is a bit of a bargain really. But it’s not all. Oh no.

We’ll also give you a free, full Three Valleys ski pass for nothing. Correct. For nothing. For the avoidance of doubt, that means you won’t pay anything, as in “Here’s your lift pass, sir”. “Thank you. How much do I owe you?”. “Nothing, sir”.

What’s the catch? Well, there is one, of course, and it’s a big one: You have to book and pay for your holiday before the end of October. Actually, not such a big catch then.

And that’s not all. Book the whole chalet and we’ll give you a free place, so if you book the whole of chalets Amber or Ava you will have 13 places for the price of 12. In Isla you will get10 places for the price of 9.

Can’t say fairer than that. Here’s the booking form.